ThWART: The World Against Rubbish Tarmac

Hello EVERYBODY, exciting news from our PREVIOUS HAUNT the Isle of WIGHT. Fellow road users like OURSELVES on the island GETTING UTTERLY FED UP with the plight of the road system there. THEY ARE REFUSING TO PAY ROADTAX.

BRILLIANT!!!!1 TAKE THAT MR BYBREK!

check it out here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=info&ref=nf&gid=321412152440

KEEP GOING WIGHTIES, THWART IS WITH YOU!

Those of you who read our OLD BLOG may remember we toured around other ENGLISH counties to check the state of the rest of Britain’s TARMAC. And as you know it is quite typically SICKENING! However we were pleasantly surprised when we visited an old stomping ground on the beautiful ISLE OF WIGHT. The roads are typically appalling, it’s no wonder the only bus operator Southern Vectis (Full name The Southampton Isle of Wight Royal Mail Steam Packet Southern Vectis Omnibus Company Limited) has to buy new buses EVERY TWO MONTHS!

BUT THERE IS A BIT OF GOOD NEWS: We found one of our favourite roads is finally back to the state we originally saw (and blogged about) back in 1989, RESURFACED BEAUTIFULLY by Medina Borough Council. Check it out in this CRAPPY CAMERA PHONE PHOTO!

But yes, apart from this, every other ROAD WAS AWFUL, we found one roundabout that has become home to HUNDREDS OF TENTS because the people there COULD NOT GET THEIR CARS PAST IT. We talked to a unique Island support group for Tarmac replenishment: T.A.R.M.A.C. (Don’t ask what it stands for), and they had this to say:

Have you ever heard the story of Godshill? Where the church was being moved down the hill, and God came in the night and said, I’d prefer it on the top of the hill, and moved it back? Well we want God to come down and move some decent tarmac onto our roads. Only in this example God is the Medina Borough Council.

So it’s clear our friends need some HOLY INTERVENTION! and by HOLY we mean Head Councillor MORRIS BYBREK!

We are reliably informed that this is what Mr BYBREK looks like, HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?

SO MEDINA BOROUGH COUNCIL, it’s time to stop pretending you don’t exist anymore, and to START POSITIVE ACTION to APPROVE and let us WIND through the island’s road’s tarmac once again!

Medina Borough Council’s beautiful 1950’s art-deco headquarters.

ROADS WERE MEANT TO BE DRIVEN ON!

- Brian.

Malik MP after a WEBCAM ARGUMENT ON ROAD RESURFACING!

We have been badgering local MP Om Malik MP to resurface ALL THE ROADS IN THE COUNTY, and guess what, HE DOESN’T WANT TO LISTEN. But he’s offered our readers and supporters an EXCITING OPPORTUNITY. The wind it is a blowing! The TIMES THEY ARE A TURNING!

OM HAS ASKED US AT ThWART to collect entries for which road YOU WANT to be resurfaced in YOUR AREA.

HOW DO YOU WIN THIS HUMAN RIGHT? Simply enter the name of your road in an EMAIL message and SEND IT VIA EMAIL to thwartbadtarmac@googlemail.com !!!!!!

NOW WHILE WE DO NOT APPROVE OF GIMMICKY TACTICS LIKE COMPETITIONS, we thought you ought to know about this exciting opportunity. We will forward all your entries to Malik MP and he will HE HAS SWORN ON HIS LIFE to put all the names in a MASSIVE HAT, and pull one out. HE WILL RESURFACE YOUR ROAD.

PERSONALLY.

WE WILL MAKE SURE OF IT.

ENTER NOW MAKE HIM PAY!

Thank you for your considerable donations to Sam’s cause, as we have stated before we are not going to spend the money on fighting the debt, but instead on exciting things for us and our cause. This is because we are an innovative and EXCITING organisation!

We have instead invested in an EXCITING and INNOVATIVE blimp we intend to take on a ROADSHOW around the country. Why a ROADSHOW? Because it’s on the ROADS dummy!

Just kidding, you’re not a dummy.

But we want to hear from you if your road NEEDS THE BLIMP, this will be able to draw attention to your ROADWORTHEY CAUSE (haha) and get attention from LOCAL PAPERS AND BLOGS (If your town has the internet). SO DOES YOUR ROAD NEED THE BLIMP?

If it does write an email to thwartbadtarmac@googlemail.com with your road A PHOTO OF THE DEVASTATION and where we SEND THE BLIMP TO (your address).

PLEASE NOTE IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A HOME WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO DELIVER YOU THE BLIMP, IF YOU HAVE A QUEREY CONTACT US AT THE ABOVE EMAIL ADDRESS. ALSO IF YOUR LETTER BOX ISNT VERY BIG WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO FIT THE BLIMP THROUGH.

WHEN YOU RECEIVE THE BLIMP MAKE SURE TO TIE IT SECURELY TO SOMETHING BY THE ROAD! - THANKS!

- Brian

Pedro is a tarmac surfacer from Turkmenistan, and he is our first new featured emailer of the week, take it away Pedro!

I am brilliant to see you guys are back, the Tarmac Laying trade has been struggling to find entertainment within small advertising packed trade magazines, and as such we were losing many to fatigue depression, and even in most sad cases, self death, but now you back I am sure we can slowly regain the courage to take pride in work!

Anyway, this not why I emailed you, I email because of the terrible state of roads in my Turkmenistan. Our government has put precious little care into transport infrastructure, leading many roads being horribly scarred, like surface of moon.

I and my brother San Miguel have decided to take the ThWART campaign to Turkmenistan and campaign for better road system, we hope you don’t mind! Campaign has attracted over 2,390 members and the government is beginning to feel strain. Business has increased four fold (as you can tell from my picture)… and while the state of the roads may be awful still; our pockets and the roads we repair, are not!

Keep up the great,

Pedro

Thanks Pedro for those kind and reassuring (AND YET STILL DEEPLY CONCERNING) words, reminding us how TERRIBLE TARMAC doesn’t just blight Hertfordshire and Great Britain, but, as our name implies: THE WORLD.

- Brian

Hi guys,

this is just a quick thank you for all of your support during my on going court case. Now it’s all over I finally have some time to enjoy the new road surface where my accident occured. I took a picture for you all to show off the fruits of our labour!

- sam